The University of Utah’s Board of Trustees announced they are changing the school’s legendary mascot. In a prepared statement, Mr. Biolchini, a newly appointed University Trustee read from a prepared statement.
“The NCAA asked us to look into the (mascot) question and we have. After careful study, we determined the term ‘Runnin’ Utes’ is inflammatory to a specific ethnic group. It has always been our belief that the Utes are a proud and noble race. It was never our intention to make light or demean the Ute people.
After consulting with students, faculty, members of the community, and former Mayor Rocky Anderson, we determined the Cicada is more befitting our University. Just like our football team, the Cicada goes dormant for years before emerging in all its glory. When it does come out, it is loud and obnoxious. The Cicada looks mean and ugly, but it is really quite easy to kill.”
Mr. Biolchini did not take any questions from the stunned pressroom. He could not be reached for comment.
